Chickens! Chickens! Everywhere!
by peacockgal17
Summary: Harry, Ron, and Hermione find the true essence of rum one very long night when it "suddenly" appears in the common room.


Chickens! Chickens! Everywhere!  
  
By: Peacockgal17 and HermioneVillan713  
  
Disclaimer: This sentence shall be short and quick. Not ours! All belongs to J.K. Rowling the magnificent except a short quote from the story of The Randomness and Idiocy of Harry Potter by some author I do not know. (PS) Good Story! Good Good Story!  
  
*Rum is distributed around Gryffindor Common Room for no apparent reason*  
  
Ron: Look! *points* Rum!!!  
  
Hermione *reading and not looking up from her book*: Ron, get a life. Rum does not exist in a Common Room *looks up to fix him with a know-it-all stare; sees rum* Oh.My.Farreewinkles!!  
  
(AN: is Farreewinkles even a word?)  
  
Harry: *sleeping and drooling into a cup* *wakes up* I'm thirsty!! *looks around and sees cup and drinks from it* Oooo! This stuff is nasty! *sees rum* Rum! I like rum!! Do you like rum?  
  
Everyone is Common Room: *raises hands*: I like rum!!  
  
Snape: *bursts in grinning maniacally* Did somebody say rum?  
  
Everyone: *stare*  
  
Snape: *bursts out of common room laughing and saying rum spasmaticlly: Rum! *giggle* *pause* *giggle* Rum!!! Hahahahaha!!!!  
  
Harry: Okayyyyyyyy. *grabs rum bottle* Mineeeeeeee! My preciousssss!! *looks in bottle; teeth fall out*  
  
Hermione: Ahhh, Harry! Not again!!  
  
Harry: Hey! It's my fault Voldemort wanted my teeth. *pauses* My perfect teeth-gone forever!!!!!  
  
30 minutes later.  
  
Everyone except Harry, Hermione, and Ron: *lying in a drunkent stupor sprawled on ground*  
  
Harry: Hiccup  
  
Hermione: Chicken.Hiccup  
  
Ron: Duuuuuuuuuuu..Hiccup  
  
Harry: Hiccup  
  
Hermione: Chicken.Hiccup  
  
Ron: Duuuuuuuuuuu..Hiccup  
  
Harry: Hiccup  
  
Hermione: Chicken.Hiccup  
  
Ron: Duuuuuuuuuuu..Hiccup  
  
Harry: Hiccup  
  
Hermione: Chicken.Hiccup  
  
Ron: Duuuuuuuuuuu..Hiccup  
  
Harry: Hiccup  
  
Hermione: Chicken.Hiccup  
  
Ron: Duuuuuuuuuuu..Hiccup  
  
Harry: Hiccup  
  
Hermione: Chicken.Hiccup  
  
Ron: Duuuuuuuuuuu..Hiccup  
  
Harry *swaying unsteadily*: Sooo.What to *hic* now?  
  
Hermione: Oh! *hic* I know! Let's pick a logical topic *hiccups and falls off chair* in which we can *still on floor staring at ceiling while words spill out of her mouth* argue about so I can show off my brilliance and intelligence *hiccups and gets back on chair* So what to talk *hic* about?  
  
Harry and Hermione: *stare at Ron*  
  
Ron: *looks at his fingers* Hey the tips of my fingers look like little pink plums!  
  
Harry: *looks unsteadily at friend* Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh h...Ron?  
  
Ron: *looks up wildly* CHICKENS!!!!!!  
  
Snape: *bursts in grinning maniacally* Did someone say chickens? *bursts out muttering chicken and giggling madly spasmatically*  
  
Ron: *ignores Snape* CHICKENS!!!!!!  
  
Harry: *smiles wildly* OK!!!!  
  
Hermione: *rolls eyes* That is, like, soooo, like immature.but I can whup your butts when it, like, comes, to, like, knowledge any day!  
  
Ron: *staring into space* the best time to eat chicken is..*looks at Hermione and eyes roll up and whispers before fainting from drunkenness* Chicken.  
  
Harry: *shakes Ron with wide eyes* When? When? You must tell me! I need to know in order to live my puny pathetic life!!!  
  
Hermione: *flicks hair annoyingly cheerleader like* I know this!! It's, like, N-O-W!! NOW!!  
  
Harry: *points an accusatory finger and Hermione* NO! You're wrong!  
  
Hermione: *twitching and hyperventilating* No! Chickens.are. red!  
  
Harry: *Pouting like a child denied candy* They are not red!! They are red!!  
  
*Both collapse on floor giggling hysterically*  
  
Hermione: Time.giggle.for.giggle.bed.  
  
*climbs stairs swaying from side to side*  
  
Harry: *asleep on floor next Ron on common room floor*  
  
*all other occupants wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning to do random outside-of-common-room things*  
  
AN: before this it was a script, now it is a story! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
3:30am  
  
Harry wakes up from the loudness of Ron's snoring. Looks at Ron and wonders how he can sleep so peacefully when he snores so emphatically. After a few minutes of watching and listening to Ron's deafening sleeping sounds, a mysterious voice inside his head tells Harry to get revenge on Ron for waking his up. *obviously this is the remnants on drunkenness* Creeps slowly to where Ron is sleeping and whispers with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, "You are chasing Snape around the Quidditch field while singing the ABCs." Ron's arms and legs go up in the air in the motion like he is running. His mouth forms the letters of the alphabet. Harry dissolves into quiet laughter.  
  
Soon, Harry gets bored and looks around for things to do. Goes and brings Hedwig and her owl treats down to the Common Room. Hedwig gets scared of the moving person on the floor and flies back up to the dormitory. Harry ignores this as the mysterious voice is giving him new ideas. Takes an owl treat and chucks it at Ron-hoping to wake him up so that Harry can bother him. What happens is better.Much much better. When the treat lands in Ron's mouth, he swallows it and jumps off the floor choking. Harry sniggers in a very un-Harry like way.  
  
Gets bored again while watching Ron struggle for life and walks off to go get food from the kitchens. Dobby clings to Harry as though his existence depends on it. "Dobby is very delighteds to sees yous sir!" Harry stuffs himself in kitchen and leaves to go back to Common Room-feeling slightly bad for Ron. Ron meets him halfway there. *The owl pellet was stuck for so long, Ron doesn't even remember anything of the morning*  
  
Ron: Hiya Harry! I had the weirdest dream ever! I dreamt.  
  
*McGonagall runs by in night-robe and sleeping cap shrieking; being chased by all Gryffindors*  
  
Harry: *whispers to Ron* Betcha McGonagall will get caught before breakfast. *Sees Hermione at the end of the pursuing Gryffindors* Oh, Hermione, how could you!  
  
Hermione: Oh, I just couldn't resist! *puffs up chest importantly* but we're doing it. for the otters!  
  
All Gryffindors stop and yell with fists in air: FOR THE OTTERS!  
  
.And they all live happily ever after.  
  
THE END!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* pg17: The moral of the story, my dear hv713, is that rum can do lots of things *sips tea with pinkie sticking out*  
  
hv713: Of course it's not!! If I may, the story is about Chickens!! You know.those little feathery animals that you are so scared of. They go bakock!! *stands up, knocks the table over, and does an impression of a chicken having a heart attack*  
  
pg17: *twitches on floor* Not the chickens, not the chickens.  
  
hv713: Hey! You!  
  
Reader: Who, me?  
  
Hv713: Yes you! Go review or die and the hand of my rubber turkey!  
  
Reader: *mutters about insane fanfic writers and goes to review story *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ hv713 and pg17 sweep long bows and take all applause with smiles "Thank you everybody! Hope you enjoyed the show! Flames welcome as long as you review!" 


End file.
